A little background: My twin brother, Patrick, is brilliant. He says all sorts of smart things and he’s usually right about them, too. He can get a little sassy sometimes, but that’s a story for another day.

So anyway, the other day, Patrick tweets:

I don’t understand why some people are so vehemently opposed to the hockey buzz in the city. It’s a cultural experience & celebration.

“YES!” I shout. Or at least I would be shouting if I wasn’t lying in bed wrapped up in my blanket, with one eye cracked half open as I read my Twitter feed and try to convince myself that it’s totally cool, even wise to stay in bed for another 15 minutes.

But the sentiment is there. And telepathically I am shouting and telepathically Patrick knows because we are twins and we share that power.

I don’t understand how you can live in this city and not feel alive and exited and proud! Sure, I can see people not being particularly interested in hockey during the regular season [raises hand nervously]. Here’s a confession: I didn’t even know until about three weeks ago that there were different lines. I thought there were like, five star players and a whole bunch of backups. What can I say? I’m a football fan.

But I digress.

I can see people not being diehard hockey fans, and I can even see people being said that their favourite team didn’t make it. But to be “vehemently opposed” – and indeed some people in this city are – to the vibe in Vancouver, to the snazzy sense of community it’s creating, just because it has to do with the success of the Canucks? That I do not get.

I always smile at people, but now people are smiling back!

I always start conversations during awkward, silent elevator rides, but now people are engaging me, rather than getting off three floors early just to escape.

But this story is my fave, and I think it perfectly illustrates my point.

Last night, I’m at the gym at my office building and not Downtown freaking out with everyone else in Vancouver, because, well, I haven’t been very nice to my body these last few years, and it needs the exercise more than it needs to be Downtown. I’m the only one in there, literally, so I have the game on both TVs and I’ve just finished running on the treadmill, so I’m looking really hot. And not the rawr kind of hot, the gross, sweaty kind of hot.

The dude who sings the Star Spangled Banner is wrapping up the song and I’m finishing some shoulder thingies* and a guy who works in the building comes in to grab his biking gear. He kind of hums along to “and the hooooooooooooome of the braaaaaaave”.

ME: We might as well stay standing, it’s O Canada time.

HIM: I’ll sing if you sing.

So there we are, side by side by the shoulder thingie machine. He’s in his work clothes and I’m disgusting and sweaty, and we’re singing our national anthem together.

That never would have happened under other circumstances and it’s because something very cool is happening in the city right now. How can you vehemently oppose that?

*that’s the technical name of the exercise.

Me: Well, have you been messing with the time machine I built for Angela?

Her: That’s gotta be it.

Me: I’m jealous of your dreams… I rarely remember my dreams, and when I do it’s usually about something lame, like getting a text message.  I’d love to know what my brain thinks about when I’m not forcing it into social norms.

Him: Maybe it’s because you don’t really live by social norms when you’re awake…

Me: What are you trying to say???????

Him: You’ve spent the whole week looking for a kidnapped snowman.

Me: Touché.

And his hat has been replaced!!!! The one that I Vicki broke was smashed to smithereens, so maybe the Wizard really did give him a new one!  You’ll note in his last letter that his English has improved considerably:

(Click the image to see it full-size)

Apparently he’s coming back this afternoon… his friends will have to help him, and I need to know who’s behind this!

Needless to say I’m NOT leaving my desk–even if I have to pee the seat–until Karl’s back!

I just returned from lunch to find this note and picture on my desk!!!!

(Click the picture to enlarge so you can read the note)

I supposed I should provide some background information. Karl is my snowman mug, a festive little chap that used to have a wee matching hat to keep my beverages warm and his brain intact. Then, one day, Vicki pushed me*, causing Karl’s hat to fall and shatter into many pieces, and subsequently, leave his brain exposed to the elements at all times. Whoever these bad, bad people are, they’re trying to convince me that my brain-damaged snowman is looking for some alleged “wizard”.  I don’t buy it. I don’t buy it at all.

Read on.

Dear Mummi

Pleze don’t worry about me no more. I mebered that I wasn’t kidnapped but went with my new friendz to find a brain for me. My frendz say they are tired of telling me stuff all the time and if I could remember a few things they will still be my frendz. I pasted the note together to give us time to get away. Sorri

My frendz are real nice to me, they say stuff like don’t stand so close to the fire you idiot (what’s an idiot?) Or don’t pull your stiksz out of your body like that, itz creepy. Sumtimez my frendz say go stand in the meadow, but I don’t know what a meadow is so I go stand in the road and they start yelling, that’s not a meadow that’s a street.

So mumm I really need a brain, I need to learn this stuff and be smart like my frenz are.

One night when you left me in the cupboard I sneeked out and went on the computer and lerned about a scarecrow that needed a brain. This guy followed a yellow brick road and asked a wizard to give him a brain. Imagine mumm, what it would be like to have a brain. I  can’t imagine cause I don’t have a brain.

Anyway, I going to find the yellow brick road and get myself a brain before I looze my frendz. I will return once the wizard gives me a brain.

Oh, tell the duck I’m sorry about the tape and all…. what a bill that guy has, just quack quack quack all day long. Maybe I’ll ask the wizard for some superglue for him. I’ll write soon don’t worry Mummi.

XXooXoXXXXXooOOOOOXXXXXXXXXoxox

Karl, your son, or your snowson, Oh I get so mixed up.

*Vicki didn’t actually push me, but I am trying to see how long it takes me before I’m convinced that’s the way it went down. I predict 23 more days.

I’m not quite sure how to proceed… the note is quite clear that I’m not to go to the police, but it doesn’t say if they want me to leave them money in a duffel bag, or meet them at a specific location, or even that Karl is still ok…

Did anybody see anything?????????

There’s a haunting line from the movie “Chariots of Fire.” It’s spoken by Ian Charleson, who plays a deeply religious sprinter in the 1924 Olympics. He says: “When I run, I feel His pleasure.”

And as I gave away money, I think I might have felt God’s pleasure. Which is odd. Because I’m agnostic. I don’t know if there’s a God or not, but still I felt some higher sense of purpose. It was like a cozy ember that started at the back of my neck and slowly spread its warmth through my skull. I felt like I was doing something I should have done all my life.

Cool article by A.J. Jacobs on giving.

As it turns out I stuff up the tracklist on Volume I, so you’re just going to have to be surprised and delighted by what I ended up putting on each volume. Too dumb to handle Christmas obviously!

01. Guster – Donde Esta Santa Claus?
02. Bruce Cockburn – Joy to the World
03. Boney M – Feliz Navidad
04. Caedmon’s Call – It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
05. Nat King Cole – The Christmas Song
06. Frank Sinatra – Santa Claus is Coming to Town
07. Ron Sexsmith – Maybe this Christmas
08. Sensefield – Happy Xmas (War is Over)
09. Sufjan Stevens – O Come O Come Emmanuel
10. Jimmy Eat World – Last Christmas
11. Coldplay – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
12. Dan Wilson – What a Year for a New Year
13. Sufjan Stevens – That Was the Worst Christmas Ever
14. Loreena McKennitt – Snow
15. Andrea Bocelli – Adestes Fideles

Volume II coming.