OK, so there are new developments in the kidnapping case. I arrived this morning to find a letter taped to my monitor, supposedly from Karl. I don’t know, it seems awfully fishy to me.
I supposed I should provide some background information. Karl is my snowman mug, a festive little chap that used to have a wee matching hat to keep my beverages warm and his brain intact. Then, one day, Vicki pushed me*, causing Karl’s hat to fall and shatter into many pieces, and subsequently, leave his brain exposed to the elements at all times. Whoever these bad, bad people are, they’re trying to convince me that my brain-damaged snowman is looking for some alleged “wizard”. I don’t buy it. I don’t buy it at all.
Pleze don’t worry about me no more. I mebered that I wasn’t kidnapped but went with my new friendz to find a brain for me. My frendz say they are tired of telling me stuff all the time and if I could remember a few things they will still be my frendz. I pasted the note together to give us time to get away. Sorri
My frendz are real nice to me, they say stuff like don’t stand so close to the fire you idiot (what’s an idiot?) Or don’t pull your stiksz out of your body like that, itz creepy. Sumtimez my frendz say go stand in the meadow, but I don’t know what a meadow is so I go stand in the road and they start yelling, that’s not a meadow that’s a street.
So mumm I really need a brain, I need to learn this stuff and be smart like my frenz are.
One night when you left me in the cupboard I sneeked out and went on the computer and lerned about a scarecrow that needed a brain. This guy followed a yellow brick road and asked a wizard to give him a brain. Imagine mumm, what it would be like to have a brain. I can’t imagine cause I don’t have a brain.
Anyway, I going to find the yellow brick road and get myself a brain before I looze my frendz. I will return once the wizard gives me a brain.
Oh, tell the duck I’m sorry about the tape and all…. what a bill that guy has, just quack quack quack all day long. Maybe I’ll ask the wizard for some superglue for him. I’ll write soon don’t worry Mummi.
Karl, your son, or your snowson, Oh I get so mixed up.
*Vicki didn’t actually push me, but I am trying to see how long it takes me before I’m convinced that’s the way it went down. I predict 23 more days.